I have recently been reminded of the complexities of communicating with others, and the value of improving our abilities to communicate.
A few days ago, a conversation about foreign languages started at Peace House Community. Well, it was supposed to be about foreign languages; we spent the first 15 minutes talking about our own language (everyone involved claimed English as their mother tongue). Between local slang, mispronounced words, and spelling challenges, we agreed that we aren’t always good at getting our message across, even when we are competent in the language.
We eventually discussed other languages, and the conversation highlighted the fact that languages are codes that can make someone an insider or an outsider. Many individuals learn at least the basics of another language to make travel easier, and while they will never belong to the country they visit, they will at least be able to function there. Others use language to exclude others, making sure that only the people they choose can understand them. My friends and I did this a lot in middle school by speaking Pig Latin in front of the teachers, more to irritate them than because we were planning anything nefarious.
I’ve also had several discussions lately with salespeople who want me to purchase their services on behlf of PHC. I learned long ago that they use a well-tested script to convince me that I need what they are offering, and I also learned that I am not good at asking the questions that will break down their presentation. I hear what they want me to hear, but whether I can hear what I need to hear is a completely different question.
All this is a shame, because language, when used to build relationships and common understanding, is one of the most beautiful of human achievements. Without a common language we flounder is loneliness and uncertainty, but with it we at least have the potential for community, mututal understanding, and strong emotional bonds. Language does more than convey information; it can create moods, connect us to each other, and lead to wonderful accomplishments. It is little surprise that flawed humans can use language to manipulate and harm each other, but it is encouraging that we can also rise above our baser instincts to call out the best in each other. Hate mongers like Adolf Hitler are opposed by the Martin Luther King Jr.s of the world, and poets give us a glimpse of a world that the cyinics will never see.
For myself, I have decided that I want to expand my vocabulary, and perhaps improve my very rusty French skills. I have no particular goal in mind. Maybe it will delay any dimentia that is headed my way. Maybe it will make these columns more interesting to the readers. Maybe it will just help me pass the time. Regardless, I don’t see any downside to becoming more adept with words.
by Marti Maltby, Director Peace House Community – A Place to Belong
This article originally appeared in “The Alley,” the newspaper for the Phillips neighborhood of Minneapolis.